6th April, 2025
The Weight We Carry
With age comes deep reflection. At least it has for me. As I sit with my thoughts and do, what I name “nothing,” I feel guilty. As if I should be doing something. What is my purpose now, I think? Now that I have raised my children and left my career, who am I? Wife, mother, producer, writer. These have been the ways I have identified myself for decades. Now what? That is when a friend of mine, one who majored in religious studies, introduced me to the Hindu philosophy, ashrama, or the four stages of life.
The first stage of life is called Brahmacharya. This is the period of education and preparing for adulthood. It is the early state of life and potentially goes through college.
The second stage is called Grihastha. This is the period where we create and maintain a home and family.
In the third stage of life, known as Vanaprastha, we start “…detaching from our family life and the pursuit of material ends… and deepen (our) spiritual practice.” This can be done in several ways. Volunteering is one way. Immersing oneself in spiritual texts is another.
In the fourth stage, Sannyasa, “…a person is free to devote themselves entirely to spiritual growth…(to) live a very simple life…The goal is to attain liberation from the cycle of birth and rebirth.”
This has helped me to understand my desire to move inward.
Sometimes I feel like a shapeshifter. I move from the fear of the unknown to the liberation of opening my heart and letting go. Instead of concentrating on the material world which is necessary, but can be – at times – soul stealing, I now have more time to spend in the natural world in prayer and contemplation.
Where did I come from? Where will I go? What has been my purpose here on earth? What is left to do? These questions hang over me like a fog that must be lifted to see forward. I have learned that to gain understanding, I must focus less on my ego and more on my soul.
So much to ponder.
Maybe I’m not doing “nothing” after all.
Photo credit: Tyler Olson/Dreamstime.com
I always enjoy your posts. I am still in the second stage on weekends with the grandchildren then need the fourth stage for the next week .
Good Morning — a lovely blog . . . Imagine it is bittersweet wrapping up another season in your happy place. Safe travels . . . See you soon!
Thank you Terri,
So right on point. I believe we all struggle with these questions as we age. Thankfully we have religion and a variety of books, prayers and medications to help us in this quest.
Have a safe summer.
Terri, you still have much to contribute. I and others benefit from your writing.
“Wife, mother, producer, writer.” That is how you describe yourself.
How about simply, ‘I am.” That is enough. We are all enough.
thanks for this — I’ve got a case of “doing nothing” too. Your thoughts are helpful. T
I’m there with you! I feel a restlessness if I sit and read or do nothing for awhile, but then I feel exhausted if I launch into a challenging project and don’t give myself enough time to rest or balance. I wonder what defines me these days – I’m no longer my professional self, never was a mom, still a darn good job at being a housewife but heck, that’s not how I want to be defined! And I’m also a “cruiser” on the sailboat, but what happens if I can’t, or choose not to do that anymore?
The 4 Hindu stages are so lovely, and I do think the 4th is where I feel myself headed – also, leaning into Buddhism, to learn to really be in the moment, not so concerned about whether I did the past well, or worry too much about what is next. Right now is what matters, and right now, I need some breakfast! Thank you for a very lovely and thought-provoking post.